The following are two final steps on how to deal with your difficult feelings from the book, Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler.

To read the first article with the first two steps click here.

Step Three: Release Writing Tool

Instead of suppressing your emotions, use this tool when you are feeling really upset. 

feel your feelings fullyReleasing writing is much different than journaling, because you are writing a “stream of consciousness” without attempting to control what you write by editing or pausing to reflect.

Hand write with the intention of keeping up with your thoughts. 

You probably won’t finish a sentence before another thought or sensation comes up.

Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or legibility.

Keep writing until you experience a sense of relief and emptiness.

Upon completion, burn or rip up the paper to release the energy.

Do not go back and read what you wrote, because that would recycle your emotions.

The purpose of this process is to ride the waves of the emotions you may have suppressed or avoided so they can begin to flow out of you.


  1. Find a quiet spot where you will not be interrupted and set a timer for 10 minutes.
  2. Remember emotions are like waves, they have peaks and valleys so give yourself plenty of time to ride the waves.  You can keep writing after the time beeps, but the minimum is 10 minutes.
  3. Take a moment to connect to your self by placing your hand on your heart feeling the unconditionally loving compassionate part of yourself that will help you ride the waves of your emotions.
  4. Begin writing whatever comes to you.  Don’t stop, even if you write, “I don’t know what to write.”  You can use these sentences to prompt you:
  5. Do not edit yourself or try to make sense of it or edit it.  Just let it rip!  This is your chance to let it all out.
  6. At the end of 10 minutes if you feel like you are done, you can move to the next step but take as long as you need.
  7. When you are done, take a moment and bring your hand to your heart.  Take a big breath and connect to the love inside of you.  Acknowledge yourself for your courage and willingness to work through this exercise.
  8. Take the paper (do not reread it!) and either rip it up or burn it.  You do this to fully release the energy.  Then wash your hands.
  9. Write down any realizations that came up from the process.

Step Four: Make A Date With Your Feelings

What to do with your feelingsFeelings pop up at inconvenient times and you may not be able to express them immediately.

Instead of suppressing them, simply acknowledge them in the moment by saying…

“Hello (insert present feeling), I feel and acknowledge your presence.  I know you have an important message for me and I commit to deal with you (insert time when you will be alone and can deal with the feeling.)”

Keeping your word is an important part of building self trust; and self trust is an integral part of feeling confident in your ability to move through your emotions.

Our Feelings Have Feelings

When your feelings don’t feel they are acknowledged, they end up being recycled and coming back later, becoming more intense or even manufacturing a health issue to get your attention.

Click here to read the next article on how to overcome regret and guilt.

Clarity Session with Wendy Lynne, Life Coach


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