What Gets A Man To Fall In Love And Stay In Love?

So many women get wrong what makes a man fall in love with you and what makes him leave, so I wanted to share with you what I learned from Alison Armstrong of UnderstandMen.com

I think men may also find this not only fascinating, but enlightening….

What Is The Right Strategy To Attract Men?

Most women that are single are in the hunting mode, pursuing and focusing on how to get in a relationship and for many women trying to figure out how to get married.

I find they are paying a lot of attention to the “how” to accomplish their goal, figuring out the “right“ technique or strategy.

But what is more important than how to get a man to fall in love with you, is understanding what gets a man to fall in love in the first place.

Once you understand that, you can focus on what is empowering to you verses the “how.”

Empower Your Self First

The great news is that, what has a man fall in love with you, is good for you too.

If you are just working hard and trying hard to change yourself to be more pleasing, it does not work.

What I want to help you learn is a new way to relate to yourself, which in turn will help you relate in a whole new empowered way with men.

A big misunderstanding is that what pleases or excites a man is the same as what has him fall in love with you and want to make a bigger commitment.

Why Men Fall In Love At First Sight

Why men fall in love at first sight has to do with fact that most men are very visual.

Their brains are wired to acquire an enormous amount of information by observing and looking and they enjoy looking at women.

When they look at women, it is not about judgement, like it is for so many women.  It is about appreciation and how women’s beauty fills them up.

Men are also very perspective.  There are four qualities they can perceive by just looking at a women to determine if she is someone they are interested in.

What Qualities Make Women Loveable?

The top 4 qualities that cause men to care about you and to fall in love with you…

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the most attractive quality you can have.

The more you understand and appreciate yourself for who you are, the more you exude confidence.

Men can literally see self confidence by the way you walk, carry yourself, the light in your eyes.

It is dead obvious to them.  They can see it from across the room.


Authenticity means it is as it is represented.

What you see is what you get – you are for real.

Men are sensitive to anything that is a pretense.

You need to have faith that how you are is enough.

Lack of self confidence can cause inauthencity.

Some women think they are past the age for anyone to fall in love with them, but as women age they often become more real, authentic, accepting of themselves.

She becomes clear about what she needs, what she wants and her boundaries.

Men love women who have the courage to be themselves and who are real.

Passion For Your Life

To most men it doesn’t matter what you are passionate about – it is just that you are passionate about something.

It shows in how you move and your expression on your face, the light in your eye, the sparkle of your smile, when you talk about what you love.

Men want to know that you have something outside the relationship that can bring energy and interest back to the relationship.

Receptivity To Him

Women are so accomplished and capable of taking care of themselves these days, but it can diminish your receptivity to what a man feels he is providing for you.

By receptive, I mean receptive to what they provide in terms of support, their ability to take care of you and who they are as a person.

If a man feels you don’t accept and appreciate what he is providing for you, he interprets that as rejection.

Men will do anything to avoid feeling rejected.

It takes a lot for them to bounce back from rejection, when they care deeply about you.

Their fear of being hurt is what makes men keep their distance or run away from committing to you.

So let them contribute and give to you!

It is what has them fall in love and stay in love.

What Is A Man’s Type?

Every man has a type.  It is not something you can change, so it is important to find out how attached they are to their type.

Some women may be the type of body or face features he likes, but if she is not receptive to him or pretends to be something she is not, he will not end up staying with her.

Even if you are not his exact type, but you are comfortable in your body and who you are, that will cause him to fall in love with you if you have the above mentioned qualities.

You being in your body is what magnetizes men.  It causes them to be physically attracted.

A lot of women abandon their body if they are unhappy with it.

That causes them to lose their ability to express passion through their body – that is what kills the expression of love.

Do I Have To Change To Be Lovable?

What if there is nothing wrong with you?

According to Alison, men hate how hard women on themselves, because most men think women are amazing.

You don’t have to change who you are, how you look or be more or less than you are.

It is in your acceptance and being yourself that men love.

For instance, when you dress for a first date – represent who you truly are, as much as you can be real.

Don’t misrepresent yourself or false advertise, be who you are!

You can ask a man to let you know what they prefer, but your job is to keep being you as much as possible.

Men Want To Feel Accepted And Valued Too

Men need to be needed.  Not a woman who is too independent and doesn’t need them.

They want someone who validates and supports what they need, their values and passions, what they choose to spend their time and energy on.

If you don’t know or care what they are all about,  it is heartbreaking to them.

It matters how you respect them and show how you care about them.

Honor and appreciate who they are, but only to the extent you honor and respect yourself and  your passions and needs. 

Nurture yourself and your own passions, but be receptive to who he is.

As you honor and accept yourself, he will honor and accept you.

How you treat men really matters, not how you feel about them!

Remember men are visual and if they cannot see how you love them by your showing them, then it is not real to them.

Need Help?

I have put a lot of time into studying so I can understand men and how best to communicate with them.  Also how to get what you need and want as a women.

If you would like help with how to get into a relationship or to reignite your current relationship, click the image below to set up a free 60 minute session.


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