“Isn’t it amazing how we can’t figure out our own lives, but we know exactly what other people should be doing?” ~Brooke Castillo

Are You Suffering In A Relationship?

Most people believe unconditional love is only for dogs and babies.  We believe unconditional love means lots of self sacrifice and should only be expected of true saints.

But what I learned from my mentor, Brooke Castillo is that unconditional love is a gift you give yourself. It’s for you, because it makes your life easier, not harder.

Love feels amazing – right!?!

And if given the choice, most of us would choose to feel love toward someone over any other emotion.

Do You Choose Love?

The problem is that most of us don’t consciously CHOOSE to feel love.

Instead we choose to feel disappointment, anger, or frustration.

We have expectations  and when people, especially those close to us, don’t meet those expectations, we feel bad.

By creating rules and ideas of how someone should be or how they should behave, sets us up to feel negative emotion towards them and suffering in our relationship.

Ask Yourself These Questions About A Person Causing You Suffering In A Relationship:

• How do you want to feel about this person?

• How do you want to feel right now?

• Would it feel better to like this person or dislike this person?

• Did you know  you have the option to unconditionally love this person regardless of what they do or don’t do?

• What is stopping you from unconditionally loving for your own sake?

Choosing To Dislike Someone Is A Choice!

Every time we choose to dislike someone, we are choosing to feel dislike and suffer in the relationship.

Dislike does not feel good. It is a painful choice.

We believe it isn’t a choice.

We believe we don’t have any control over how we feel toward someone else and instead allow their actions to control how we feel.

But it is not true!

Our thoughts about their actions determine how we feel. 

Choosing Your Thoughts

When we choose negative thoughts, we feel negative emotions.

It is as simple as that.

For example, if you feel frustrated because your husband/wife does not make the bed, the reason you are frustrated is because of what you are making it mean.

Your thought about your husband/wife not making the bed is what frustrates you.

YOU can change what you are thinking in order to feel better.

This way, your husband/wife doesn’t have to make the bed for you to feel good.

You have taken responsibility for how you feel in your relationship.

This Is FREEDOM!

Other people’s behavior have no impact on us until we think about it and choose to make it mean something.

No matter what people do, how they act, or what they say, we don’t have to give them the power to determine how we feel.

This is freedom from suffering in a relationship!

Want help with your relationships?  Contact me for a free mini session to see how you can quickly shift the dynamics in your relationship!