How To Ask Better Questions

When you feel worried and anxious, it is because you’ve been giving into the Fear Monster’s loop of negative thoughts spinning around in your head.

When you keep thinking those thoughts or talking about them, you are unintentionally reinforcing those negative neural pathways in your brain.  Uggh!

That’s why you feel stressed most of the time.

Your brain is accustom to defaulting to the negative.

It is time to lay down new neural pathways!!!

Start Asking Better Questions

One simple way to get out of those negative looping thought patterns is to start asking yourself better questions. Let me explain…

I bet you have what I call a Ferrari mind.

If you don’t give that Ferrari mind something productive to do, it will constantly detour off track to worry thoughts.

So give that Ferrari mind something constructive to focus on by coming up with a dominant question to occupy your mind with throughout your day.

This is very different than mindlessly chanting affirmations that are more like wishful thinking.

“I am calm.” “I am happy.” etc.

Coming up with a dominant question gives your Ferrari mind something to focus on throughout the day and often you’ll come up with creative and unique solutions for your problems.

For instance, I was bored going to the gym and start to dread going, but wanted to maintain a healthy weight.

So I wrote one single question on post-it notes and stuck them on my bathroom mirror and the windshield of my car:

How can I make exercising fun!?!

That question led me to doing some pretty crazy types of workouts that were lots of fun…ice skating, pole dancing, belly dancing, snow shoeing, roller blading, yoga to rock and roll music, I could go on and on…

Here is a movie of me trying to ice skate: Wendy Lynne life coach ice skating

The point is by asking myself the question throughout the day it helped me focus on what I wanted (to be active and have fun) and not what was wrong (bored with exercising).  

It is also important the type of question you focus on…focusing on the wrong questions can make the situation worse!

Examples Of Dead End Questions                          

Why do I always find myself in this predicament?

Why can’t he/she _____? 

What will they think of me?                     

Why is it taking so long?

What’s wrong with me?

Useful Questions To Ask Yourself

Here are some examples of some useful dominant questions you an ask yourself:

What is the easy solution to this problem?

What am I supposed to learn from this _____?

What can I change/do right now to feel better about this situation?

What are my instincts trying to tell me to do?

How can I feel most alive?

Do you see how changing your dominant question opens your mind to possibility instead of the boxed-in stressful feelings?

How To Figure Our Your Perfect Question

I’d love to help you fine-tune a question that specifically works for you in a complimentary clarity session with me.  

I guarantee you will come away with tools and strategies tailored to you to lower your stress and live a life you love!

If you missed Stress Tip #1, click here.