“Today I realized that I have, with your help, come a long way. Yesterday I received the results of my dog’s autopsy. she most likely died because of a bone that I gave her. My first response was. “You worthless piece of shit, you killed your dog”.
This morning I woke up and gently said to myself: “The first sentence in the autopsy said that she was in excellent condition meaning I took good care of her”. I was able to tell myself that that little dog was my world, and I would never have done anything to hurt her in any way. I thought the bone was hard, and that she would not be able to chew it up. I thought it would make her day. I made a mistake. I was doing the best I could for her with what I knew at that time.
My heart is still broken, I miss her terribly, she was my faithful and loving companion, and almost always was with me. I feel like part of me is missing, but I am not a horrible person. You helped me to be gentle with myself, it means everything at a time like this.”
