Dating & Breakup Coaching

Whether you’re looking for love, starting a relationship, or trying to move on from one, I can help.

Based in Redmond, WAServing Bellevue and SeattleOnline Worldwide

Helping People Create Change Since 2010

1,000+ Coaching Sessions With Clients Worldwide

Advanced Training in Relationships & Personal Growth

What Is Dating & Breakup Coaching?

Dating can bring some of our deepest patterns to the surface.

Who you’re attracted to, who you pursue, what you tolerate, how quickly you attach, and what happens when someone pulls away or a relationship ends are rarely just about the other person.

You may keep falling for people who are emotionally unavailable.

You may find yourself analyzing texts, mixed signals, and every interaction. You may stay interested in someone who is inconsistent, give too many chances because you don’t want to hurt someone, or lose sight of what you want because you’re so focused on whether they want you.

And when a relationship ends, it can bring up much more than missing the person. Rejection, regret, loneliness, anger, and the urge to figure out what you could have done differently can make it incredibly hard to let go and move forward.

Dating and breakup coaching helps you understand what is underneath these patterns. Instead of trying harder to be chosen or second guessing yourself, you begin to trust what you feel, recognize what actually works for you, and make relationship choices from greater clarity and self trust.

Inescapable Vulnerability of Childhood
Where You May Feel Stuck

Do Any of These Sound Familiar?

Dating and relationships can bring old patterns, fears, and insecurities to the surface. Here are some of the ways that can show up.

Choosing the Same Type

You keep finding yourself attracted to the same kind of person, even when you know how it usually ends.

Overthinking Everything

You analyze texts, conversations, mixed signals, and what someone is or isn’t doing.

Giving Too Many Chances

You stay or keep trying because you feel guilty about hurting someone, even when you know it isn’t right for you.

Attracted to Unavailable People

The people you really want often seem difficult to reach, inconsistent, or emotionally unavailable.

Struggling After a Breakup

You can’t stop thinking about what happened, what you could have done differently, or whether they’ll come back.

Needing to Be Chosen

Someone else’s interest or rejection can have too much power over how desirable, lovable, or valuable you feel.

Meet Wendy

I Know Relationships Aren’t Always Simple

I Know Dating Can Feel Very Different at Different Stages of Life.

I had what I would call a pretty normal dating life before I got married the first time. But after 17 years of marriage and raising two children, I found myself single again in a dating world that had changed considerably.

I didn’t have single friends showing me the ropes, and online dating wasn’t something I was using at the time. I had to figure out how to navigate dating again on my own. I was fortunate to meet someone through business, and that friendship grew into a romantic relationship that lasted nine years. Eventually, a my partner’s serious brain injury changed the relationship in ways that made continuing together impossible.

When I found myself dating again, the landscape had changed even more. This time I did try online dating. At first, I found it fun and exciting. Then, like many people do, I discovered how quickly it could become tedious, confusing, and discouraging.

And then life surprised me again. A mutual friend invited me to an event at someone’s home, and I literally walked into the house of the man who would eventually become my husband.

Having dated at very different ages and stages of life, I understand both sides of it: the hope, fun, chemistry, and possibility, as well as the disappointment, repetition, uncertainty, and sheer exhaustion that can come with trying to find the right relationship.

That experience shapes the way I coach. I’m not going to give you dating rules or tell you who you should choose. I help you understand what happens inside you when you really like someone, recognize the patterns that may be influencing your choices, and get clearer about what you actually want so you can approach dating and relationships with more self trust.

What Working Together Looks Like

We’ll start with what’s happening now, uncover the patterns keeping you stuck, and help you get clearer about what you want in your relationships.

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Clarity Call

We start with a free 30-minute conversation about what’s going on, what you’d like help with, and whether working together feels like the right fit.

Your Starting Point

Before we begin, you’ll complete a questionnaire that gives me a fuller picture of your relationship history, what’s happening now, the patterns you’ve noticed, and what you’d like help changing.

Coaching That Fits You

You can work with me session by session or choose a 12-session package for deeper, ongoing work. We’ll focus on what matters most as things evolve.

Support Between Sessions

You’re welcome to share important insights, questions, or something that comes up between sessions by email or text.

Ready to talk about what’s going on? Start with a free Clarity Call.

What Changes When You Do This Work

The goal isn’t simply to find a relationship or get over one. It’s to understand yourself well enough to make different choices in love.

  • You recognize the relationship patterns you keep repeating.
  • You become clearer about what you actually want and need.
  • You stop confusing intense attraction with compatibility.
  • You trust yourself instead of analyzing every interaction.
  • You set boundaries without as much guilt or fear of losing someone.
  • You stop letting someone else’s interest or rejection determine your worth.
  • You become better able to let go when a relationship isn’t right for you.
  • You approach your next relationship with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust.
Client Stories

In Their Own Words

“Good news, I’m feeling a LOT better. I wrote my former girlfriend an apology note and I never sent it. I left it on my desk for a few days and eventually thought it out. I’ve only had a few tough….Read more

“You helped me realize that letting go of outcomes and enjoying the ride, lead to much better results and reduced stress. I’ve also entered into my relatively new relationship with a deeper understa…. Read more

“I came to Wendy stuck and overwhelmed, overcome by fear-driven thoughts that were preventing me from moving ahead and addressing my insecurities and personal relationship issues….Read more

“Omg, I just wanted to share with you that I did it! I talked to him and spoke honestly and directly. You have NO idea what it took to do this… I was terrified because this is completely stepping out of my comfort zone!….Read more

Wendy is exactly the kind of person you want in your corner, and I feel incredibly grateful to know her and to have had her support during some important chapters of my life….Read more

Common Questions

Questions About Working Together

Find answers to the questions I’m most often asked about coaching.

Still have a question? Get in touch.
What does a dating coach actually do?

Dating coaching isn’t about teaching you tricks to get someone to like you. I help you understand what happens to you in dating: who you’re attracted to, what happens when you really like someone, where you ignore your instincts, what you tolerate, and the patterns that keep showing up. The goal isn’t simply to find a relationship. It’s to help you create one that actually feels good to be in.

Why do I keep choosing the same type of person?

Sometimes the people who create the strongest attraction also activate very familiar emotional patterns. You may repeatedly find yourself drawn to people who are unavailable, inconsistent, or unable to give you the kind of relationship you want. Instead of judging the pattern, we get curious about why it feels so compelling. Once you understand what’s underneath it, you have much more freedom to choose differently.

When you begin to recognize the pattern underneath the fight, you can interrupt it instead of automatically repeating it. Couples coaching can help each of you understand your triggers and reactions so the conversation can begin to change.

Can breakup coaching help me get over someone?

Yes, although I don’t think the goal is simply to “get over” someone. A breakup can bring up grief, rejection, anger, regret, loneliness, and questions about your own worth. We’ll work through what happened, what the relationship brought up in you, and what there is to learn from it so you can eventually move forward without carrying the relationship into your future.

What if I can’t decide whether to stay in a relationship or leave?

I’m not going to tell you whether you should stay or leave. I’ll help you get clear enough to make that decision for yourself. We can look at what is actually happening, what you’re hoping will change, what you need, what you’re tolerating, and where fear or old patterns may be influencing your decision.

Can you help me with dating after divorce or a long-term relationship?

Yes. Dating again after a marriage or long-term relationship can feel like entering an entirely different world. We can look at who you are now, what you want in your next relationship, what you don’t want to repeat, and how to trust yourself with someone new.

Do I need to be actively dating to work with a dating coach?

Not at all. Sometimes taking a break from dating is the perfect time to do this work. You can use that time to understand previous relationships, become clearer about what you want next, strengthen your boundaries, and change patterns before beginning another relationship.

Ready to Feel Differently About Dating and Relationships?

Whether you’re trying to find the right relationship, understand the one you’re in, or let go of one that ended, let’s talk.