Best Way To Stop Negative Self Talk – Start By Noticing What You Think About Yourself?

What is it that you think, when you think about yourself?

If you ever have the thought, “Something is wrong with me.”

It no doubt causes you to feel some level of shame or guilt.

Which then probably makes you act in a way that is “wrong” in your opinion, like not speaking up for yourself or voicing your opinion.

By not speaking up when you feel you should, it then gives you evidence that there’s something wrong with you.

It is a terrible cycle.

Understanding The Model

Here is what you need to know…

What you think determines how you feel.

How you feel determines what you do or how you act.

And how you act or behave creates the results you are getting in your life.

Start By Noticing Your Negative Self Talk

If you are feeling awful about yourself, it’s because of a thought you’re having about yourself.

“I always screw up.”

If you take some action or do something you hate, you can most likely track it back to a negative thought you were having.

“I ate that whole bag of cookies, because I was so upset and frustrated.”

If you have a result that you are unhappy with in your life, it’s probably started with and came from your negative self talk.

“I’m stuck in this horrible job.”

“I hate my body.”

“I just don’t like my husband.”

The truth is it’s not the other person, the job or your body causing you to feel bad.  It is your thoughts!

Once you realize those thoughts are choices, you can actually do something about it.

If I Hate Myself Enough I Will Change

A lot of people are afraid to get rid of the negative self talk because they believe that beating themselves up motives them to change.

Here is what I found…

The more I hated my body, the more I ended up sabotaging my healthy eating goals by bingeing.

The more I hated my partner, the more I sabotaged the relationship with critical comments.

Then I’d get even more mad and ended up hating myself more. 

It like a double whammy –  giving you one more reason to hate yourself.

What If I Make A Mistake?

If you make a mistake, you may not be able to fix that mistake, but how you choose to think about that mistake is a choice.

It’s a very important choice.

Most of the time making a mistake is no big deal until we make it mean something. 

“I screwed up the presentation and we lost the deal, so I should get out of sales.”

“I missed the ball and lost the game for everyone, so I should quit playing.”

“I didn’t come home when I said I would – I never do anything

How To Get Over Making A Mistake

Try finding the silver lining…

Well at least I showed up and made the presentation…

Well at least I swung at the ball…

Well at least I apologized and committed not to do it again…

Look for what you can appreciate and choose to learn and grow from the experience.

What Do You Practice?

Ironically, when you repetitively think negative thoughts, that’s what you are good at. 

When you practice thinking thoughts of gratitude and appreciation, that’s what you get good at.

Even though it may feel awkward at first, the more you do it, the more it will become natural. 

And then the more you will start to like yourself.

Love Yourself To Change Yourself

Is it difficult for you to come up with 10 things that you love and appreciate about yourself?

If so, it does not mean there is nothing to appreciate.

It just means that you just haven’t been practicing enough.

Whatever it is you want to learn, you have to actively do it.

What I discovered is the more you love and appreciate yourself, the more you are motivated to change.

Let’s Silence That Inner Critic And Change Your Destiny

Here’s a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a yoga class I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Click here to set up a complimentary clarity session and let’s get you going on getting rid of that negative self talk!